Avatar: Dances with Last Samurai... IN 3D!!!!

It's tough to decide what movie I wanted to review first. A favorite? A hated one? Then it hit me: why not a record breaker? So, here it is: Avatar. Yes, that movie. The one that's getting all of the hot awards (Golden Globes for Best Pic. and Best Director, I believe). I saw this a while back, but my memory of it has not faltered! Nay, I saw it and dwelled on it! And what say I of this movie? Of this film which has driven the masses to theaters and left them thrilled?!

Anti-climatically: it's not that good.

Why? Where to start? Well, I guess the rampant plagiarism is a good place to start. What plagiarism? Well... *points at plot* the whole thing for starters. It's a movie about a man out of his element who is recruited to try to coerce a group of culturally different natives into abandoning their homeland for the good of the human race. Then, in a flash, he is cautiously welcomed by the race, shown their ways, and begins to think that maybe he's in the wrong. (And meets a female).

Quick: Alter the sentence to read like this!

Kevin Costner travels into the frontier by his lonesome for the army. Whilst there, he meets a group of Native Americans. At first, they aren't all that fond of each other, but as time moves on, his further exposure to their culture captivates him, and he slowly falls in love with their kind. (Including a woman)

OR:

Tom Cruise is recruited to go to Japan to put down a rebellion led by Samurai. He's taken captive and forced to live the season amongst them. Whilst there, he begins to see that the Samurai are a noble, honorable race. One worth saving, even. He falls in love with their kind (including a woman).

I don't care how good the effects are, that's just a rip-off. In the process, he even does the ole "Copy and Paste" for side characters of the movie.

Colonel Bagley

vs.

Colonel Quaritch

They even hold the same rank! Wowzers!

Okay, so beyond the fact that the story is weak, what about the characters? Two dimensional, at best. You know exactly what's going to happen next, and if you don't... I don't know what to say. Every response to the situation the make is cookie-cutter. The 'hippies' will try to save the indigenous peoples, and the 'militants' will try to destroy. Of course, the militant who happens to be a friend of the hippies... what will she do? You could probably guess.

I will say this, though: there are some really neat aspects. The floating mountains, the link they make with the creatures, and yes, the effects, are all really cool. If you're a style-over-substance kind of person, this movie was made for you.

However, it can't make up for ideas this movie has taken: Dances With Wolves, The Matrix, Fern Gully, Pocahontas, Aliens (revisiting old ideas, Cameron?), etc. It's just... It's the most frustrating movie I've ever seen. Proceed with caution.

Overall - 4 if you see it in theaters. 2 if you don't.