More Like GreatFellas! (I got nothing.)

So, I've been demanded on the spot to bust out a review tonight... I didn't know what to review, really. I also have no idea what I'm going to write ahead of time on this one, but I'll give it a whirl with Goodfellas. Why? No particular reason. I guess because it's pretty fresh on my mind from the last viewing, and I know what I like and dislike when it comes to this film.

For a lot of people. Goodfellas is Martin Scorsese's best work. That's entirely understandable, in a way. After all, it's one of his most accessible movies, and it has a story that a lot of people will latch on to. I mean, damn... who doesn't like a good gangster flick, after all? It has all of the great American values - violence, drugs, and sex. What? You thought we valued chastity? Psh... this ain't 500 A.D. This is 2010, an era of thriving porn industry. The post-video nasty era, the post-Requiem for a Dream era... I could've just summed tht up by saying, "It's the 80s again." If only there were still video-nasties...

I digress. GoodFellas is just a damn fine flick in general. There's a lot to like about it: the stylistic flare, the paranoid plot, Robert DeNiro being all deceptively nice-like, and of course, any movie's main attraction: Joe Pesci. Though I've never met the man in real life, it's easy to imagine that he carries a gun at all times and will shoot someone because they gripped his hand too tight when they shook it.

Pictured: Joe Pesci at In-N-Out Burger

Pesci won an academy award for his portrayal of the downright insane Tommy DeVito. Deservedly so, too. He just outshines the rest of the (still great) cast. You may have noticed something here: every character has some insane flaw. Each of them is facilitating the undermining of their own lives in a way. Liotta is too stubborn and ignorant to realize the trouble he's getting into, Pesci is ruffling too many feathers, DeNiro is a paranoid mess, and Chuck Low (playing Morrie) brings them all together in a way that's really not going to end smoothly. It's important for me to explain why I'm pointing all of this out: the film is leading towards a very tense ending, and the inevitble cluster-fuck that's going to pursue is a direct result of their lifestyle. They life of the gangster is glorious, sure... but everyone's ride is going to have it's end. It isn't all gratifying, as some have built it up to be. That's the Goodstuff.

What's wrong with this movie? Gosh, the biggest problem is something that would become worse 10-fold in Casino: the voiceover narration. I've always thought of the voiceover as the weakest form of storytelling, as it betrays one of my movie virtues: it tells, it doesn't show. So what we get are very compressed moments that are gone in a flash... it's tough to keep up. Not to mention some moments don't need the voiceover in any shape or form (Liotta's first date, e.g.). Super-frustrating.

Most people will be able to get past that, and I don't blame them. It's restrained enough that it doesn't become distracting. So as that is the main negative aspect, I can't complain too much. This is just a damn good movie, and one that deserves to be watched. Peep the Samuel L. Jackson bit part as Stacks. That's just sweet.

Also at In-N-Out Burger... Probably watching Joe Pesci

The movie actually made itself more gangster by total accident! That's the power of GoodFellas, and that's why you need to watch it for yourself.

Overall - 8. Voiceovers be damned, I wanna go shoot something now.... Lesson not learned? A great movie from a great director. No surprises there.

Kung Fu(cking A) Hustle

So why not a comedy review, eh? Those movies are always the type that a lot are hesitant to hand out high ratings to unless they're satire or Monty Python or something... I guess sort of mature comedy is what they look for. Maybe I'm not all that different, maybe I am... it depends on how you take Kung Fu Hustle, really.

What I mean by this, is there are a lot of layers to this movie. You could simultaneously call it a slapstick, a martial arts film, a romance (in a silly sort of way)... It pretty much excels at all of these. Of course, it's primary a comedy, and it functions that way, but the fact that it managed to add so many... so many baaawww and beautiful things is enough to make it more than just a comedy.

On one hand, you've got this MAD CRAZY comedy going on. I mean, there's a Road Runner-style sequence for crying out loud! Knives are bouncing off walls, a nerd in gold frames is bumpin' heads, cats are getting cut up, gangs are dancing, 'n all this crazy stuff is going on. Odds are if it's an inanimate object, it won't survive the movie.

HINT: This soccer ball lasts ~2 seconds after this image.

You know what I have to say 'bout all that shizz? Hilarious! Of course, if slapstick isn't your style, then some subtler humor pops up from time to time. There are all kinds of homages, send-offs, and quotes that are bound to make you chuckle. When the idiot friend starts randomly talking in deep metaphors, for example. Where in the world did that come from? Don't know... but it was funny as could be.

Of course, a movie with Kung Fu right there in the title isn't going to just be a simple comedy movie. It has to have some martial arts... doesn't it? Well, it does. As for the fights themselves, well they range from badass to beautiful, with the top mark going to the incredibly well-made battle between the Kung Fu masters and The Harpists. The concept itself is intriguing: a way of attacking those with greater skill by channeling spirits/swords via music. Then the execution lifts the scene from intriguing to perhaps the memorable scene of the movie. There's a moment where the sound drowns out and all you can here is the Harpist's music as Donut (actual character name!) fends invinsible daggers for his life. It's... well, beautiful, really.

On top of that, there's a subplot involving Sing (main charater) robbing an ice cream vendor... twice. It's hard to explain without crapping out a spoiler, but odds are you'd be able to catch on anyhow. Just know it's one of my favorite aspects of the movie.

Also, there is a small amount of symbolism occuring in the film. The toads outside of The Beast's cell, for example. Take a look at them, and then as the film reaches its climax, find out just why they were there. Or the all-day sucker... the only part of a flash back represented in full full color. Sometimes the symbols double as a comedic prop themselves... like the Axe Gang approaching Pig Sty Ally followed by the clouds, or the vortex above the asylum. Awesome.

I guess what I'm trying to say from all of the above is this: Kung Fu Hustle is a great, great movie. Frankly, I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't like this. Even if you don't like the slapstick brand of humor, there are so many other things for someone to appreciate. I know I mention this every review, but with this movie, I can't stress it enough: this art meets entertainment. For that, I love this movie.

Overall - 10. Not just a great comedy, but probably the best pure comedy from the 2000s, and one of my all-time favorites. Watch it.

Fistful of Confusion

So, after that review of Avatar, I got myself thinking, "Wait... I didn't like it because of it's plagiarist nature, but what about Fistful of Dollars?" So then of course, came that inevitable answer: review the damn movie!

Let's start off with the ugly part of the review: the lawsuit. For those of you unaware, Fistful of Dollars is western that takes, pretty much word-for-word, the plot of Yojimbo (EXCELLENT Kurosawa flick, by the by). It's about a man with no name (Clint Eastwood) who strolls into a town in the middle of the desert. Of course, this town is in the midst of strife. Two families have grown to prominence, and they preeeeetty much want to kill each other. Of course, in the midst of this is the town's token dramatic family. In a nutshell: the wife is held by the Rojos because their leader (Gian Maria Volonte) is infatuated with her. So, Eastwood goes to work in setting the families against each other.

Replace Eastwood with Toshiro Mifune and western with samurai, and presto! Yojimbo. This isn't just word-of-mouth, either. Kurosawa succesfully sued director Sergio Leone because of how similar to the two were.

So, now the good aspects of the movie. Well, the acting is enjoyable across the board for one. Eastwood is, of course, all man in this movie. His screen presence is powerful even though he doesn't have to do all that much (look tough, act cool, shoot punk bitches). Counterpart to him is Volonte, who plays a villain really well, as well as his brother Esteban, played by Sieghardt Rupp. He provides his role with an unmistakable cackle and a real menacing look when it calls for it.

All Man.... Sexy, sexy man.

Also, Leone just has this style... this flare, really. He knows the craft of movie-making, and even though he was still obviously honing it at this point, it's obvious that the guy just knew what he was doing. The plot and action moves with deliberate speed, the shots are wide and grand (until you get those excellent close-ups), and he knows when to build tension. The best part may be when the showdown between the two families finally happens. As each shot is fired, you see the characters get more and more thrilled with what they're doing... It becomes more twisted and demented. It passes the point of insanity. It's powerful, damn it!

Like I said, though, he still hasn't quite got it down yet. There are these moments where you just have say, "Huh?" A scene ends with both a fade-out and a musical crescendo... That doesn't make any sense at all! It's just so sudden. His timing is just a little bit off, I think. Not much... but juuuussssst enough to make the film seem a bit weaker than his other flicks. Also, at this point, characters never really develop. The only truly interesting character is, in fact, The Man With No Name. He's the only one achieving his means through questionable actions. Is he in it just for the money, or does he genuinely care for the towns plight? Everyone else is straightforward... save maybe the bartender. There are good guys and bad guys and that's that. Nothing more to it.

On the whole shot, though? A damn good western. Why can't I bring myself to shout out, "IT'S YOJIMBO MINUS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" Maybe it's because Yojimbo was pretty much meant to be a western to begin with... maybe it's because Leone had a better sense of film than James Cameron. Ultimately, though, I think it's because Fistful took a plot strong enough that it deserved to be copied, and in copying it, the alterations gave it a style and feel of it's own. The acting is also light-years ahead of Avatar. In a way, then, it maintained the entertainment side of the biz and met halfway with the technical side. Avatar forgot the second half (effects =/= technical). So am I a hypocrite? It's for you to decide, I suppose.

Overall - 7: A most digable movie, indeed. If western's are your thing, check this stuff yo!

Avatar: Dances with Last Samurai... IN 3D!!!!

It's tough to decide what movie I wanted to review first. A favorite? A hated one? Then it hit me: why not a record breaker? So, here it is: Avatar. Yes, that movie. The one that's getting all of the hot awards (Golden Globes for Best Pic. and Best Director, I believe). I saw this a while back, but my memory of it has not faltered! Nay, I saw it and dwelled on it! And what say I of this movie? Of this film which has driven the masses to theaters and left them thrilled?!

Anti-climatically: it's not that good.

Why? Where to start? Well, I guess the rampant plagiarism is a good place to start. What plagiarism? Well... *points at plot* the whole thing for starters. It's a movie about a man out of his element who is recruited to try to coerce a group of culturally different natives into abandoning their homeland for the good of the human race. Then, in a flash, he is cautiously welcomed by the race, shown their ways, and begins to think that maybe he's in the wrong. (And meets a female).

Quick: Alter the sentence to read like this!

Kevin Costner travels into the frontier by his lonesome for the army. Whilst there, he meets a group of Native Americans. At first, they aren't all that fond of each other, but as time moves on, his further exposure to their culture captivates him, and he slowly falls in love with their kind. (Including a woman)

OR:

Tom Cruise is recruited to go to Japan to put down a rebellion led by Samurai. He's taken captive and forced to live the season amongst them. Whilst there, he begins to see that the Samurai are a noble, honorable race. One worth saving, even. He falls in love with their kind (including a woman).

I don't care how good the effects are, that's just a rip-off. In the process, he even does the ole "Copy and Paste" for side characters of the movie.

Colonel Bagley

vs.

Colonel Quaritch

They even hold the same rank! Wowzers!

Okay, so beyond the fact that the story is weak, what about the characters? Two dimensional, at best. You know exactly what's going to happen next, and if you don't... I don't know what to say. Every response to the situation the make is cookie-cutter. The 'hippies' will try to save the indigenous peoples, and the 'militants' will try to destroy. Of course, the militant who happens to be a friend of the hippies... what will she do? You could probably guess.

I will say this, though: there are some really neat aspects. The floating mountains, the link they make with the creatures, and yes, the effects, are all really cool. If you're a style-over-substance kind of person, this movie was made for you.

However, it can't make up for ideas this movie has taken: Dances With Wolves, The Matrix, Fern Gully, Pocahontas, Aliens (revisiting old ideas, Cameron?), etc. It's just... It's the most frustrating movie I've ever seen. Proceed with caution.

Overall - 4 if you see it in theaters. 2 if you don't.

Endtroducing: The Man Himself

Right then... As per the suggestions of a friend (catch her at Mizzou's rendition of Vagina Monologues... just throwing it out there for no reason?), I've started this bloggin' business. What to blog about, though? Psh, hell if I know... or do I?

So, it's no secret that I love films. No, I don't mean that from a strictly artistic standpoint nor from a straight "ENTERTAIN ME!" one. Or, maybe I should put this way: neither David Lynch nor Michael Bay graze my "Top 10 Peeps of the Industry" (name pending). I'm more of a Scorsese/Kurosawa/Leone kind of guy. Why those three? Because one: all three made absolutely astonishing films in their careers, and two: they understood that both characters AND story needed depth, but they never sacrificed entertainment in the process. So the epitome of a great movie is the intersection of depth, technicality, and entertainment.

Of course, not all movies NEED these things, but that's what makes film great, I guess. You never really know one's great until you stumble on it. I mean, I love Evil Dead, but did those characters possess depth? Not really. Or what about something that goes so wrong that it circles back to being great? Why do I love watching those? I guess that's what I'm trying to figure out.

Oh, and who am I? Not that it's super-important, but I'll give the quick rundown: I'm a 22 year-old college student at the University of Missouri- Columbia. I have a real nostalgia thing going on (I STILL map for DOOM and believe N64 is the greatest system of all time), I like pretty much all facets of art/media (writing and music largely comprising my other loves), and I probably need to spend my time doing things other than MAPPING FOR A 17 YEAR-OLD GAME!!!!! (Hence, the blog).

That's the basic stuff? Want to know more? Just drop a line... not like a line of cocaine... I ... never mind.

Oh, and I guess I'll establish some sorta loose rating system here:

10 - Timeless Awesomeness
9 - Timeless Awesomeness, but lacking a degree of WHAMMO!!!!
8 - Funky stuff worth watching again
7 - Cooler than average, I'll dig it a couple more times.
6 - It'll keep my attention when I watch it the first time, or make good background noise.
5 - Nothing significant
4 - This movie ain't all that hot!!!!!
3 - Nothing but *grumble grumble grumble*
2 - Sucks
1 - Literally ONE redeeming quality (Buscemi in Armageddon, e.g.)
0 - Curb-stomp + Golf shoe = OUCH BAH BAH BAH BAH!

And a special one:
AN AWESOME 0!!!!! - Everyone should love these types of movies, because they're awful. Awful in a special sort of way that makes me love them. Hilarious in that unintentional fashion.

Finally to round things out, here's a picture of me looking stupid (and a smidgen drunk):







<------- A whole month of not shaving and that's the best i can muster.